Tag Archives: grief

endless

endless

how unnatural it feels
this chill in the air
the changing of seasons
winter to spring arrested
held captive for excruciating
seconds, summer in the wing
collecting souls for the keeping
never to be seen again,
transported to the fragrant fields
of summer land, of endless summers
just beyond the veil, while we weep
winter overstaying it’s welcome
night spilling into the dawn

~kat

a sonnet

a sonnet 

take care not to fill that cold space too soon
left in the wake of a visit from death
surrender to wafts of scent left behind
departing remnants of life in a room
savor the sweetness with each inhaled breath
as memories of life shared fill your mind
the world can spin on without you today
turn off your phone, brew some tea, get some rest
focus on you right now, grieving takes time
for some days, months, more; there is no right way
no reason or rhyme

~kat

Na/GloPoWriMo2022 - Day 16 Prompt: Write a Curtal Sonnet (see the description below). Since i am deep in the thick of it these days, taking full advantage of the Melancholy Muse who lurks in from the shadows to show her face in times like these. 

The curtal sonnet consists of 10 lines written in iambic pentameter and a final line consisting of a single spondee (or foot consisting of two long or stressed syllables). Here's the rhyme scheme:

Line 1: a
Line 2: b
Line 3: c
Line 4: a
Line 5: b
Line 6: c
Line 7: d
Line 8: b
Line 9: c
Line 10: d
Line 11: c


off prompt

Started my day waking up to this beautiful sky, tree tops, a hint of green, popping with buds, spring on the cusp. I fully intended to write a fancy poem about it…

Morning in the Blue Hills ~kat 2022

…and then events of the day took over…and we had to say goodbye to another beloved pet, our Winston…Winnie Pooh …best boy ever. 8 years is not long enough…even in dog years. 😢 Rest in peace buddy. Go find Maxwell and Casey-cat who crossed the rainbow bridge earlier this year. They’ll show you the ropes. 🥰


Shi Sai Sunday’s Week in ReVerse – 23 July 2017


Grief likes to sneak up on us when we least expect it. Or at least that’s what we tell ourselves when it taps us on the shoulder to remind us it’s still hanging around. Whatever the loss, there are consequences for having cared about someone or something.

Some of us try to outsmart this inevitable reality of life. We detach from anything that might cause us pain.

But, we lose things every day. Ask me how many times I’ve lost my car keys in the past year…more than a few! We may lose an opportunity, our place in line at the grocery store, because we forgot to grab peanut butter when we were on aisle 5, or we might lose our way when the gps isn’t working and tells us to turn right…right into a corn field. We may even lose our marbles…well…maybe that last one is for another discussion…though I do remember how distressed I was at age 5 or 6 when I lost my prized blue cat’s eye beauty…

But of course, these not the types of loss I am referring to. In order to grieve it is required to have loved. I am certain that life would not be worth living if not for love. And there’s the rub.

What do we do when we love, but the object of that love leaves us? What do we do with the “maybe if’s”, the “wonder why’s”, the “if only’s”, the remorse we feel if we never had the chance to say goodbye…and the anger. What do we do with that?

We always think we need closure, but closure is not a cure for grief. There is no closure when we have fully loved. There is only figuring out what to do with that love when there’s nowhere to put it and no one to receive it. That’s grief.

But it doesn’t answer my question. What do we do? Especially if we believe a life without love is a life not worth living. Do we stop living? That’s a bit drastic, but sadly it is what some of us choose to do.

Now I am speaking from experience. I’ve been grieving of late and this is what I’ve learned. Just because the person or thing you lost isn’t here anymore does not mean you stopped loving them. (Read that last line again. Do you see it? You are still loving.)

When I find myself engulfed by waves of grief, I remember how fortunate I am. I acknowledge the fact that I have the capacity for a love so deep and wide that it hurts. Sure I miss the object of my affection, but oh how grand it was to have loved them. In fact, I love them still. That’s precisely why I am grieving…for love’s sake.

Finally, here’s the thing. Though it may sound a bit pie-in-the-sky delusional (I admit it); all this grateful, positive self-talk I’m gushing, there is one more thing I do when grief catches me by surprise. I let go and have a good cry. Sometimes I even rant and scream and get mad. And that’s okay. I let the pain wash over me. Then I remind myself why it hurts so much. Love. It’s worth it you know. Love is always worth living for.

Peace and Love everyone! Yes Love, with a capital L! “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” ❤️

Shi Sai Sunday’s Week in ReVerse – 23 July 2017

baring her raw sweetness
…oh shit!
dancing with death, like lovers,
roots never mingling,
wishes fade like ash…
so get me that beer
al desko gourmets
echo from her pearl pink pith
withering on the vine
rhapsody in muted blue
then let me be
to offer sweet
relief from
summer’s bitter
stillness

~kat

A shi sai or ReVerse poem is a summary poem with a single line lifted from each entry of a collection of work over a particular timeframe and re-penned in chronological order as a new poem. Unlike a collaborative poem, the shi sai features the words of one writer, providing a glimpse into their thoughts over time. I use it as a review of the previous week.


And now the words come…

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It has been two days since US Elections on November 8th. Many of us are in shock. We are in mourning. We are afraid. It is real fear. There are definitely things to be concerned about if the new administration is able to follow through on its promises.

I found myself inconsolable in the wee hours of November 9th when the news came. I couldn’t sleep. I plunged into depression. I felt helpless and hopeless. I felt angry and betrayed by family and friends who boasted about voting for a monster (as I perceived him to be). It is personal for me. I stand to lose a lot as one of the targeted minorities on President Trump’s and Vice President Pence’s hit list.

Step One

November 9th was a day unlike any other. I went through the motions at work. Facebook continued to stream nasty meme’s as well as calls for kindness and civility from the very people who accepted the opposite from the most divisive, misogynistic, prejudiced candidate in recent memory. As the gloating persisted on my Facebook page, I did some housecleaning. I unfriended people I didn’t actually know personally and a few others who I realized were not really friends. Some may think it is mean to do such a thing, to unfriend someone. The truth is they probably won’t miss me. And the important thing is that it is a new beginning for me. It is Step One in regaining my power. It is Step One in remembering who I am and who I am not. I am not a victim nor am I a loser.

Step Two

Step Two requires that I face my greatest fears. It is true that the progressive, inclusive and compassionate values many of us have fought for and gained in recent years could be dashed to oblivion by the single stroke of a pen just a few months from now. New, more restrictive mandates too, could be wielded upon us. Some of us could be sent back to countries we have never lived in, but are associated with by virtue of our ethnicity. Some of us may lose access to healthcare and basic services. Some of us, those who dream and wait, longing to come here, might never be allowed to set foot on this soil because the name of their god is not the same as those in power. Some of us may lose the right to marry who we love as well as face limited access to the goods and services availed to everyone, justified by religious freedom, our natural resources risk being depleted for corporate gain. The list goes on. But the truth is, nothing has happened yet. And we are all still here, over 59,938,290 by last count. We are not powerless. We still have a stake in this country. Fear is what drove many who voted for Trump to make their unwise choice.  I must face each fear as it comes and separate reality from the boogeymonster I imagine it to be. Fear will not, cannot win.

Step Three

Step Three will be the hardest thing for me to do. It’s an ongoing step. It is one that draws upon my spirituality and faith. Step Three requires that I forgive the people who are left in my circle who voted either knowingly or in ignorance regarding the consequences of their choice and the affect it might have on me personally. From a spiritual standpoint this is where the rubber hits the road. The truth is, this is the most powerful thing I can do, because I will never know peace and healing if I don’t. These are the words that have been swirling around in my head. “Forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Now you might say, “Well, some of them did know. How can you forgive someone like that?” Well, it’s hard. And I’m not going to say I’m good at this, or that I’ll get it right every time, but I need to remember that forgiveness is not about them, or what they do. It’s about me. Forgiving doesn’t let injustice, malice and ill intent off the hook, but forgiveness empowers me to remove myself from the position of victim, to gain control of the situation and to do something about it for the sake of justice without being sucked into the emotional drama that happens when we take things personally. It seems paradoxical. It’s not personal, but it is very personal, in that I have the power to choose whether I allow it to rule my life and my response to the world around me. I can be more effective when I am free from the bonds of unforgiveness.

So this is my list, my way of coping. You may not agree. Or if you do, you may not be here yet, and that’s okay. Take time to grieve. Take time to sort this all out in your own way. If you need a shoulder or just a friendly ear, I am here with others who know that we must never cease believing in all that is good and just and true. It’s been a shocking week. Maybe we all, even those of us who have been paying attention, needed to wake up and take things up a notch.

Peace Love and Hope to you all.

kat ~ 10 November 2016


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