I had just logged out of my work computer, sat down to watch a bit of mindless TV while my dog’s tilapia baked in the oven. Okay, yes I cook for my dogs. Vet’s orders…though… well that’s another story it’s for my sweet Winston who refuses to go out in the rain to do his business without his raincoat Winnie, who has a special blankie and needs to be tucked in at night
anyhoo… where was I?
just finished work got two trays of tilapia into the oven fed the cats (don’t think i mentioned that or the cats) got Winston dressed in his raincoat so he could take a wee plopped down on the recliner sofa in the den turned on a movie then THIS popped up on the big screen…
what follows next is the conversation i had with some AI beaming in via satellite from a galaxy far, far away no doubt just sayin’
been a rough week only Tuesday, you say? rough week
Something’s not quite right. You’re telling me…wait!? How did you know?
Your receiver has not been reset in a while. Well that would explain a few things. It’s been a few years, hasn’t it? What with pandemics, government coups (attempted, alleged, your everyday tour group gone amuck in DC), inflation, wars, mass shootings, crazy people, two presidents (well, one just thinks he’s still the president…and people believe him!) mean, really nasty, hateful people, I must say I don’t miss being out there I don’t miss the office, the gossip, the backbiting, the hour-long commute i thought i was doing fine, adjusting to isola…i mean solitude but maybe it’s affected me just a bit more than i realized
To prevent your system from becoming unstable… Hey! No need to get personal bud!
…and to ensure you have the latest programming and software updates…. great hook! i’m listening… let me guess three easy payments of $9.95, free shipping and double this offer so i can share it with…
…your receiver will be reset in 45 seconds. Ha…wish it was that easy. You’re right. Something’s not quite right…
Most resets take less than 5 minutes. … … … well, i just spent 45 seconds in a conversation with my television i’m not sure 5 minutes is gonna cut it
think i’m gonna go unplug
the microwave just in case
NaPoWriMo 2022 - Day 5 Prompt: write a poem about a mythical person or creature doing something unusual – or at least something that seems unusual in relation to that person/creature.
I had fun with this one. Don’t know if it’s a poem…or on topic, but i had fun! 😊
1-This particular ritual is best practiced late evening, an hour or two before bed.
2-First, you must find the leather-bound journal with thick rough-edge, no-line pages that you bought at the mall bookstore on black Friday as a holiday gift to yourself.
2-Rip the cellophane off gently, and fan the pages so you can feel the slightest puff on your face. Close your eyes while savoring the woody aroma of each leaf from cover to cover. Run your fingers along the smooth outer sheath releasing wafts of warm leather.
3-Now fetch your fountain pen with blue peacock resin piston and fine gold nib from the bottom of last year’s purse. You know the one, on the shelf in the walk-in closet, next to the guest towels.
3-Run warm water over chamber to tip letting the ink bleed through your fingers; watch it swirl ‘round the drain of your white porcelain sink.
4-Unpack a fresh cartridge of serenity blue ink and load it into the barrel, popping it into nib unit.
5-Ready-set-not so fast! You need to set the mood…candlelight - one or two candles, three even better.
6-Set the diffuser to continuous flow. Add a drop or two of your favorite essential oil.
7- Make yourself a cup of jasmine tea with honey, and settle into your writing spot.
8–Write the date on the upper right corner of the first page or your journal.
11-Give your poem at least an hour to percolate.
12-If it is dawdling, curse the Muse, blow out the candles one by one, turn off the diffuser, place your writing instrument diagonally across your notebook, lock the outer doors and settle into bed.
13-When, at 3 am, the witching hour, you are roused from a deep slumber, words spinning, bouncing off the sides of your skull…before your brain turns to mush. grab your smart phone and tap the words onto the screen. This is your poem.
morning the dog ... -gotta pee, gotta pee, maybe a poop -eat breakfast, yum yum yum -must have a belly rub or two or three...don’t stop hooman, don’t stop! -take a nap
the cat ... -sit on hooman’s face to wake them up, or finish them off... -on second thought, i need sustenance after the night i’ve had chasing bugs... -let them live...for now -eat breakfast —watch birds outside from the window seat
afternoon the dog ... -gotta pee, gotta pee, maybe a poop -have a treat, yum yum yum -chase the cat -bark at the delivery truck -lick hooman’s face -take a nap
the cat ... -spend a few hours sunning -check in on the hooman who needs to be reminded to take a break now that they work from home and NEVER LEAVE -walk in front of the work screen -type a secret message -shred paper on the desk -hack up a fur ball on the keyboard -toss the so-called mouse on the floor -disappear until dinner
evening the dog ... -gotta pee, gotta pee, maybe a poop -lay on the kitchen floor under the hooman’s feet to supervise dinner making -after one more pee and poop, eat a night night treat. yum yum yum -snuggle up close with my hooman for a good sleep i loves my hooman
the cat ... -loudly remind hooman it’s dinner time -sit on hooman’s head at tv time -after lights out, guard the end of the bed from toe monsters under the covers -wretch loudly several times during the night -race up and down the hallway -sing the song of the night -watch hooman sleep tomorrow hooman...tomorrow
Had some fun for today’s NaPoWriMo2021 – Day 9 Prompt: write a poem in the form of a “to-do list.” The fun of this prompt is to make it the “to-do list” of an unusual person or character. It’s not really a poem, but they say write what you know…
grateful am I for being here and all that being brings
grateful am I for pebbles that cause the brook to sing
grateful am I for shadows, a sign that light’s nearby
grateful am I for the tears falling free from a good cry
grateful am I for dirty dishes, our belly’s must be full
grateful am I for worms and slugs aerating the soil
grateful am I for callouses, honest work, for honest pay
grateful am I for deeds no one sees and doing good anyway
grateful am I for suffered loss remembering what was
grateful am I for little things that matter just because
grateful am I for the rain, for the rainbows that soon follow
grateful am I for failing, lessons learned, humble pies swallowed
grateful am I for adversity, the audacity to survive
grateful am I for pain, for it is proof that I’m alive
grateful am I for early mornings, so to start the day
grateful am I for nothing less, for less is more that way
it can be amusing or confusing to hear a word
that’s not the word you think you heard…
When a tree boughs, does that mean it’s leaning?
And why do some tree bows hang low?
Are you moot if your oral preception is effected?
Should a defendant except council’s advise as a matter of course?
Do you find erotica titivating?
Are doctors proscribing too many drugs these days?
Is it good practise to complement someone on principal alone?
Can a flounder founder?
When a sale is on do hoards fill the horde?
Mitigating is not a result of militating…or is it?
Must I cleanse my palette before my next coarse?
What sort of peddles does a bike maker pedal?
Does poring over a book lose wisdom.
Should comments in the forward be foreword?
Can you insure someone that exorcise will help them lose weight?
Life can be a tortuous path, or is that torturous…or both?
Do the poles lie about what we’re really thinking?
Does a 50 story building have many a storey to tell?
Would you close a window if it got a bit drafty?
Can you have your desert and eat it to?
Is it possible to have a duel personality?
I wonder if cereal killers were forced to eat serial as kids and hated it. Was that what struck a grizzly cord leading to there climactic rain of terror.
Now before you loose your head, I’ll leave you on a note that’s light
as painful as this was to read, harder still, was it to write!
For today’s NaPoWriMo 2018-Prompt: write a list poem in which all the items are made-up names, I cam up with a List Poem of questions using mangled confused words. Not exactly made up words (except for the title) but a horrifying misuse of words just the same. This was incredibly painful to write! haha! Please refer to the source* below to learn the correct meanings. I cannot live with the thought that I led anyone misspelling down the wrong vocabulary path! 🙂
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