Category Archives: Humor

Of Flying Pigs and Truffles

From “Valley of the Black Pig”…

‘The dews drop slowly and dreams gather;’ —W.B. Yeats

Of Flying Pigs and Truffles

Those pigs! They are flying…fleeing in droves,
exposed by the truffles they guzzled with glee,
their gluttonous bingeing, now everyone knows.
Soon they will pay for their vile thievery.
Those truffles! So rare…such delicacies.
They should be savored by pallets discerning,
their place on the plate given prominency,
respected and honored in delicate servings.
It’s been quite the scandal, this wild exposé.
The talk of the barnyard, in locker room speak.
Oh, those pig’s days are numbered, not sorry to say,
and to truffles uprising, the victory tastes sweet.

~kat

Inspired by the news of the day, the slow dripping drop of the dews and the title of the Yeats poem, for Jane Dougherty’s ‘A Month with Yeats’ – Day Eighteen Poetry Challenge.


Claque – Friday’s Word of the Day

Our word of the day from Dictionary.com is claque. It’s a noun that means: a group of persons hired to applaud an act or performer; a group of sycophants.

Here’s how this word came to be:
Hired groups or squads to applaud actors and performers are nothing new. The Roman author Suetonius (75 – 150 a.d.) in his “Life of Nero” (chapter 20, in “Lives of the Twelve Caesars) reports that Nero hired 5,000 young men and taught them three different kinds if applause to use in his performances. In Paris by the mid 19th century, claques were organized into “platoons” whose various squads were rehearsed to laugh, cry, comment on, and encourage the actors. The great conductor Arturo Toscani (1867-1957) impised discipline and decorum on audiences and was instrumental in suppressing claques. Claque entered the English language in the 19th Century.

Claque is a perfect word for our current alternate reality. The powers that be think we need coaching when we’re told an apple is a banana. And not just any banana, but the most amazing banana in history of bananas. We need a cadre of claqueurs to rally and extol the amazing virtues of bananas from the sidelines. Their job is to convince us that what we’re hearing with our ears but failing to see with our own eyes is not what we think it is. They tell us when to laugh at unfunny jokes. They applaud wildly, standing in ovation to encourage us to do the same. These shills are paid for their loyalty and I learned that the professionals of this shady craft might even resort to extortion should the entertainer fail to pay for their feigned accolades by rousing choruses of boos. What is our world coming to?

As for me I like watching spectacles from the edge, trusting my intuition to come to my own conclusion. For example…It is not a banana. I know bananas. It is an apple of course. Your jokes are not funny and I refuse to reward you with applause for your outrageous claims. Thank you very much!

You can read more about this interesting word of the day at Wikipedia HERE.

Have a great weekend. And remember, if it walks like a duck and claques like a duck, it’s probably a turtle…..Ha! And I didn’t even need a laugh track to get a chuckle out of you…at least I imagine you smiling right now.

Here’s a little Haiku to reward you for reading this far.

the gullible gush
awed by the fake ovations
of shills and claqueurs

~kat


Heeled Rivals

“Oooh, I hear her! Choose me, choose me!”

“Dream on Stiletto. She’s going hiking today. You are not a hiker!”

“I can hike, Trekker! You should see me on a runway.”

“Strut maybe. She’s gonna pick me.

Bet you a Choo!”

“You know Choo? Shhhhhh! She’s coming!”

“Wait!!! Flip Flops?!!!”

“Later dudes!”

~kat

52 Words exactly fo Sacha’s 52 Weeks in 52 Words Writespiration Challenge based on this prompt:

Write a day in the life of a pair of shoes – your protagonist IS the shoes.


Treat – a Haiku

By promising treats
man and beast with tricks comply
…or get off the pot!

~kat

I’m feeling plucky today. Have a great weekend. For Haiku Horizons weekly prompt: treat. Photo by cyberangel70 on Pixabay.com.


Jacket Blurb Challenge

I doubt they are best sellers, but these real titles are definitely unique. This week MindLoveMiserysMenagerie’s Sunday Writing Prompt challenged us to choose a few REAL book titles from a list and write a “jacket blurb” in 10 sentences or less. I chose two. If you’d like to give it a go you can find the list HERE.  To make things interesting, I also put together mock covers. As you can see, I had a bit of fun with it. 🙂

He has spent the last 20 years observing people from a 16 square foot, fluorescent lit, glass-framed booth collecting subway tokens, granting access to travelers from every walk of life on their way to destinations unknown. Retired city employee, Albert Morton has seen it all, including what he calls “Magnets”. These oblivious people seem to attract the spirits of the dead who haven’t crossed over.

Morton identifies himself as a “sensitive”. From childhood he has possessed the uncanny ability to see dead people.

“They come to the subway,” Morton explains, “because they’re confused and perhaps a bit lost. They know they need to go somewhere, but they don’t know where, so they attach themselves to unsuspecting travelers.” Morton claims to have helped hundreds of these lost souls find rest.

In People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to do About it”, Morton shows you how to recognize the signs of super-unnatural attachments and provides 3 simple steps to get those needy trolls off your back for good!

If you’ve ever felt goosebumps for no reason, you need to read this book!

 

Cherries Jubilee! Créme Brûlée! Bananas Foster! Chef Luigi Valenti shares the secret to creating fabulous flame-kissed gourmet dishes in his sizzling new book, The Pyromaniac’s Cookbook. All you need a blow torch! (…and fresh batteries in your smoke alarm and  um…maybe a nearby fire extinguisher.)

From desserts to main courses, Chef Luigi takes the mystery out of working with fire while providing life-saving tips in blow torch operation with a special chapter on burn first aid using items you can find in your own kitchen! You’ll be brûlée-ing in no time, and, without losing your eyebrows!

Amaze your family and friends at your next dinner party! As Chef Luigi always says, “Everything a-tastes a-better with a little flambé!”

~kat


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