Category Archives: Humor

Twittering Tales #140 – 11 June 2019

Twittering Tales
About the challenge: Each Tuesday I will provide a photo prompt. Your mission, if you choose to accept the challenge, is to tell a story in 280 characters or less. When you write your tale, be sure to let me know in the comments with a link to your tale. This is important as I have noticed that some of the ping backs have not been working. If you would prefer to post your tale in the comments (some people have very specific blog themes but still want to participate), I am happy to post a link to your site when I post your tale in the Round Up.

A final note: if you need help tracking the number of characters in your story, there is a nifty online tool that will count for you at charactercountonline.com.

I will do a roundup each Tuesday, along with providing a new prompt. And if for some reason I missed your entry in the Roundup, as I have occasionally done, please let me know. I want to be sure to include your tale.

Finally, have fun!


Twittering Tales #139 -The Roundup

books-1039985_1280

Photo by Portrait of Tracy at Pixabay.com

Starting us off…

Tea Time
A leaky faucet shattered the silence. Insomnia plagued Hannibal. But this would be his last night in hell. His new book, “A Vintage Tea Party” had earned him freedom.
“Tomorrow afternoon, it’s tea with the ladies,” he smirked, “they’re going to love my savory finger sandwiches.”
~kat
279 Characters

By Fandango at This, That, and the Other:
The Palm of My Hand
“Why did you take your books down from your shelves?” she asked.
“I’m donating them to the local library,” he answered.
“You don’t want them anymore?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Because I downloaded them all onto my Kindle and now I have my entire collection in the palm of my hand.”
“Cool.”
(278 characters)

By Enzo at Travel, Good Food, Arts and More:
Book Titles
Derrick was trying to make order in the flat and sort the books out that seemed to be Coming Out all over. Some selection criteria were needed to Weed Out the useless books no one would ever read. He knew some Small Sacrifices was needed despite his passion and respect for books.

By Larry at East Elmhurst A Go Go:
Hey, You Never Know
Leo and Sylvia were at the Wyoming Free Library’s book sale. She was smitten by a copy of Jean Anouilh’s ‘Homulus the Mute’. “Get a load of her,” he said. “As a rule her idea of high culture is watching ‘Family Feud.’ Suddenly she’s the queen of the eggheads.”
(263 characters) 

By Reena at ReInventions:
Disappeared
digital libraries
bring so much at our fingertips
but joy of fingers brushing accidentally
on the book covers
shy glances exchanged
before moving away
exchanging books
meeting again to return those
-Disappeared forever…

By Di at Pensitivity101:
‘There are a lot of good titles here. What’s the problem?’
‘None of them are any good.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah. I can’t find one thick enough to prop the coffee table up.’
161 characters

By Kristian at Tales from the Mind of Kristian:
The Final Dedication
All her life Susan collected the awesome books written by her high-school boyfriend.
His death was reported on the news that morning. Wistfully she picked up his last book. It fell open on the dedication page. The line burned her eyes.
“Dedicated to my first and only love, Susan.”
[280 Characters]

By Sadje at Keep It Alive:
The craziness had to stop. How many books anyone can read or buy! They were running out of room to store them. Today while her husband was gone on another of his book buying expedition, she had arranged a garage sale. “ Going cheap, anyone?”
Character count: 241

By Tessa at Tessa Can Do It:
Books Out Of Control
“Linda what are you doing now? Did you find the negatives from Lucy’s baby pictures?”
“Oh Ron, I found several of my books are undamaged, help me box them up.”
“Where are the negatives,?”
“I haven’t found them yet.”
“We came to rescue the negatives, not books. Come on let’s go!”
275 characters

By Willow at WillowDot21:
Book Titles
Tuesday afternoon, three hundred steps away. Two hours sanctuary at the library, he always has a carer so she’s not worried.
Books don’t ask questions, they don’t get agitated they were quiet.
She smiles chats advises be herself not a carer. Pratchett he made her remember.
(280 Characters)

By Ron at Read 4 Fun:
A Full Life Well Read
Here was a life lived well. Pen names over multiple genres were an excellent disguise. Advice, storytelling, flights of fancy, and explorations of dark thoughts best kept hidden and played out only in the mind, all collected here. As a retired journalist, it’s time to write -30-
280 characters

By Wildchild47 at The Immortals:
The Immortals
Black robed, his cry in the wilderness –
The religion of it, it’s a killing room, filled with the lovers long forgotten, their spent flesh a repast for our feast, _ we honour them in our atonement, this, our wars of the roses.
From the middle distance, we moved towards His Light.

The Well of Lost
the well of lost …
and found – socks, plots, buckets, brooms, spores, sprouts & the crescent moon, et al.

By Lisa at Tao Talk:
Glass
Flo, a quiet millionaire, earns her money through writing dozens of novels that hit the bestseller lists. Only her offshore bank and her agent know that Flo writes under many names. Flo’s multiple personalities, all top writers, demand to be published under their own names.
[276 characters]

By Peter at Peter’s Pondering:
46 to choose from. Therein lay the clue to the lost treasure!
It was all there in the Last Will and Testament of old Aunt Agatha.
She’d written that, in these books, I would find a wealth beyond measure.
Only after finishing “The Great Hunt” did I get it.
Reading was the treasure!
(277 characters)

By Kelley at AuthorAnonBlog:
Waiting
“I’ve read every last one.”
“That one?” Shari nodded to the oldest book in the pile.
“My favorite, it has every spell possible, even one to bring back the dead.”
“Wow.” Shari knew the guy was a fruit loop. “I should get going.”
“So soon? But I’ve been waiting for you for eons.”
Word Count: 53 words – 277 characters

By Lorraine at Lorraine’s Frilly Freudian Slip:
Testing, Testing, Testing…
Kingdom Besieged. War of the Roses. Insomnia. Vintage Tea Party. Kill Room. The Religion. Hannibal, Spartacus, [& the] Emperor [s]. Crown of Swords.
Great hunt for talent is over. Twittering Tales Music Festival is a go. Invite write here on your cellphone. Dune be late!
270

By Deb at Twenty Four:
Marcia sighed, the will had been quite specific and though she really couldn’t see the point, respecting her brother’s request she had set about carrying out his last wishes.
Now that the books were organized she commenced the second stage.
“Ok, who has ticket B12?”
(264 characters)

By Rob at Art by Rob Goldstein:
The Book Party
He arrived at the book party in a trench coat, heavy black boots, and tight jeans. His thick black hair and working class sneer gave him the air of a dashing literary genius, and his fans and lovers took him as one.
No one read his sweaty anxiety and dread.
220 Characters


Thank you everyone for joining last week’s challenge! I do hope you had fun with it. For this week’s challenge I found this interesting photo (I’m hoping it is enhanced! ;)) by nahidhatamiz at Pixabay.com.

I like a good ghost story…do tell, or maybe your tale is about ravens or sunflowers…or black dresses and has nothing at all to do with ghosts. Whatever you see here, just try to keep your character count under 280 characters or less. I’ll see you at the Roundup next week! Have fun! 🙂


Twittering Tales #140 – 11 June 2019

Diversification Strategy

Essie had earned a respectable reputation as a specter. Then came reality TV. Spirits now had to compete with demons for attention.

“Oh Basil, I hate this century!”
“Don’t lose your head over it Essie. Demons bore easily. You’ll see.”
“Brilliant idea!”
“I didn’t mean…oh dear!”

~kat

276 Characters


battle him – NaPoWriMo #14

battle him

about this faze where going threw
this ship will write itself in the end
butt weighting is knot what wee should dew
or talk about whether my deer friends
thyme two get reel, hear’s what two due
two forget about the mess where in
let’s knot look back or weight four sum shoo
to drop, thyme two indite evil men
two exorcize are write two vote, yew
no the jig, bridal there power, let
justice raze her scales, give them there do
they’ll waist away inn prison, wheel send
other criminals a massage two,
that crime does knot pay, wee will defend
democracy, butt until wee due
close yore ayes, suite dreams my friends
don’t let this bazaar thyme treble yew

~kat

My apologies to any spelling/grammar ninjas and a disclaimer. I am not responsible for exploding heads, nervous breakdowns or mind blows. Ironically, this poem may make sense if you read it aloud, but you’ll have to get past the words themselves…I don’t recommend it. I’m exhausted now. I need a nap!


For NaPoWriMo 2019 #14 Prompt: write a poem that incorporates homophones, homographs, and homonyms, or otherwise makes productive use of English’s ridiculously complex spelling rules and opportunities for mis-hearings and mis-readings.


March Pi-Archimedes #18

daffadowndillies

they’re back again
daffodils
beautiful narcissus, daffadowndillies, jonquils,
daffodils
by any other name smell
awful…maybe it’s just me…I think they stink!

~kat 😷

Turns out, it is just me! Daffodils and they’re cousins are actually a lot like cilantro. Some people find them quite fragrant. Me, not so much. Daffodils nor cilantro! I’ll pass on both!!!! 🤣


The Pi-Archimedes verse is:
○ a hexastich, a poem in 6 lines.
○ measured by the number of words in each line 3-1-4-1-5-9 to match the numerical sequence of the first six digits of Pi.
○ unrhymed.
Pi=3.14159…


January Biolet #30

the dopplers never lie to us
save yourselves a tempest’s coming
panic surges and then nothing
a spot of rain for all this fuss
save yourselves a tempest’s coming
the dopplers never lie to us

~kat

So…true story. I live in a mid-Atlantic state. When the weather forecasters utter the “s” words, snow…sleet…people here panic. Now I grew up in Chicago and it’s suburbs, so I’m not used to this sort of thing. We learned how to drive in the stuff as teenagers. Not here. The prospect of an inch or two of snow followed by freezing rain and plummeting temperatures causes all manner of mayhem. Schools and businesses close. Store shelves are depleted of milk and bread and if you happen to be at work when the stuff starts coming down there is a steady shuffle to the parking lot to get home before it gets bad. I know, because my cubicle is situated at the exit door.

Yesterday was one such weather event day. Just after noon a light rain started. My desk is near a window so there was an occasional glance over my shoulder to assess the situation. “Here it comes!” said one onlooker. “You need to get out and home before it gets bad,” said another. “Don’t stay too late.” “Be careful out there.” By now the schools had closed, so the parents were the first to escape danger. Then the rest of the staff made their way out into the tempest, which after an hour or so, had passed. The sky was bright blue with a few soft wisps of white. But the weather forecasters had told us to expect up to two inches of snow. One can’t be too careful you know. It all made me laugh!

As for me, I stayed on to the end of my shift. I got a lot of work done. No interruptions. And when it was time to go, I was rewarded with the most beautiful red sky sunset.

So that is what inspired my Biolet today. There were still rumblings if doom uttered today. It’s supposedly going to be very cold, not as cold as those North of us are facing, but cold. It is winter after all. This too shall pass. 😄🤣😄


Tattoos – A Six Word Story

Tattoos hurt! Forever, when they’re botched.

~kat

This week’s Six Word Story Challenge from Wonderwall is prompted by the word “tattoo”. Head over HERE to post your own story in the comment section. Then post it on your blog with a link. Have fun!


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