Tag Archives: Humor

#No Cookies For Santa

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Photo by ponce_photography at Pixabay.com

Breaking News: In a shocking turn of events, brave Mommies everywhere are speaking out and refusing Santa’s lewd advances. No more kisses! We have known about Santa’s naughty behavior for years, and it is believed thousands of children have been traumatized, but now the Mommies are fighting back. #No Cookies for Santa.

52 Words Exactly for Sacha’s 52 Weeks 52 Words Writespiration Challenge #50. This weeks prompt:  Write about how Santa ended up on the naughty list.

 


Heeled Rivals

“Oooh, I hear her! Choose me, choose me!”

“Dream on Stiletto. She’s going hiking today. You are not a hiker!”

“I can hike, Trekker! You should see me on a runway.”

“Strut maybe. She’s gonna pick me.

Bet you a Choo!”

“You know Choo? Shhhhhh! She’s coming!”

“Wait!!! Flip Flops?!!!”

“Later dudes!”

~kat

52 Words exactly fo Sacha’s 52 Weeks in 52 Words Writespiration Challenge based on this prompt:

Write a day in the life of a pair of shoes – your protagonist IS the shoes.


Jacket Blurb Challenge

I doubt they are best sellers, but these real titles are definitely unique. This week MindLoveMiserysMenagerie’s Sunday Writing Prompt challenged us to choose a few REAL book titles from a list and write a “jacket blurb” in 10 sentences or less. I chose two. If you’d like to give it a go you can find the list HERE.  To make things interesting, I also put together mock covers. As you can see, I had a bit of fun with it. 🙂

He has spent the last 20 years observing people from a 16 square foot, fluorescent lit, glass-framed booth collecting subway tokens, granting access to travelers from every walk of life on their way to destinations unknown. Retired city employee, Albert Morton has seen it all, including what he calls “Magnets”. These oblivious people seem to attract the spirits of the dead who haven’t crossed over.

Morton identifies himself as a “sensitive”. From childhood he has possessed the uncanny ability to see dead people.

“They come to the subway,” Morton explains, “because they’re confused and perhaps a bit lost. They know they need to go somewhere, but they don’t know where, so they attach themselves to unsuspecting travelers.” Morton claims to have helped hundreds of these lost souls find rest.

In People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to do About it”, Morton shows you how to recognize the signs of super-unnatural attachments and provides 3 simple steps to get those needy trolls off your back for good!

If you’ve ever felt goosebumps for no reason, you need to read this book!

 

Cherries Jubilee! Créme Brûlée! Bananas Foster! Chef Luigi Valenti shares the secret to creating fabulous flame-kissed gourmet dishes in his sizzling new book, The Pyromaniac’s Cookbook. All you need a blow torch! (…and fresh batteries in your smoke alarm and  um…maybe a nearby fire extinguisher.)

From desserts to main courses, Chef Luigi takes the mystery out of working with fire while providing life-saving tips in blow torch operation with a special chapter on burn first aid using items you can find in your own kitchen! You’ll be brûlée-ing in no time, and, without losing your eyebrows!

Amaze your family and friends at your next dinner party! As Chef Luigi always says, “Everything a-tastes a-better with a little flambé!”

~kat


Graveyard of the Woobies

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PHOTO PROMPT © Danny Bowman

“Are you sure this is the place?”
“Positive. I remember that hill.”
“Well, let’s get to it then. Grab a shovel.”
“You know it was just a joke. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“A joke you say? It has haunted me for 30 years. How could you do such a thing to a kid?”
“Jeeze man! What are you gonna do with that dirty old…”
“Woobie…it was my woobie. Does it matter? I just want it back.”
“Oh…I had a secret invisibility cloak once. It didn’t work or anyth…”
“Shut up and dig!”

~kat

94 Words for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields Friday Fictioneer challenge based on the photo above by Danny Bowman.


Mother Lode

Photo by Claire Sheldon


“How many of these are there?”

“I don’t know, a couple hundred.”

“You sure the old lady said she hid money in her stuffed animals?”

“That’s what my cousin’s, friend’s, mother heard her neighbor say.”

“What?! I can’t believe I’m sitting here unstuffing this woman’s creepy collection on hearsay!”

“But it could be true! Besides, I trust my cousin.”

“You lost me at ‘friend’, my friend. The old lady will be back soon. If we don’t find something soon, I’m outa here!

Just then a shiny penny tumbled from a pile of stuffing. 

“Really dude?! God!!!!”

“Well, it IS money!”

~kat

100 Words for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Story Challenge based on the photo above by Claire Sheldon.