Because I’m a stickler for following form and a perfectionist, after realizing that I missed the mark on yesterday’s Kimo, here is a redo. Still two stanzas (one for each day so far this week) but I’ve corrected the syllable count on each line. I like it much better. There is something to be said for good poetry form. 😉
she waits at the door each morning and night
trusting to be fed, trusting
not, the hand that feeds her
what atrocities did this meek soul bear
what malevolence, what fear,
to tremble at kindness
Kimo poems are an Israeli version of haikqApparently, there was a need for more syllables in Hebrew. That said, most of the rules are still familiar:
• 3 lines.
• No rhymes.
• 10 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 6 in the third.
Also, the kimo is focused on a single frozen image (kind of like a snapshot). So it’s uncommon to have any movement happening in kimo poems.
Oh my dear… my little Haiku for Ronovan’s Challenge caused quite a fluster…and I did not mean for it to. The prompt words shy and blush and their interesting synonyms definitely took me on a tangent. But you must understand, that for a woman my age, flushing and blushing have more to do with menopausal dips and dives than anything sultry! My mind sooooo did not go where some of yours did! 😳
At any rate, a do-over is in order…g-rated and straight to the point. I also flush crimson when I am steaming mad…which is what I meant to say and should have. 🤪
It’s not modesty
flushing my face crimson red…
I blush when I’m mad!
Of course you could take madness down any number of paths…fuming perhaps? Burned? Irate? Full of rage…some might say passion as I did…but that is easily misconstrued. Pissed! Now that’s a fine word. But I did say this Haiku is rated G. Still…substitute it for mad if you like…at least pissed can’t be confused with being bat-shit crazy! Okay now…don’t you dare go there! 😜
I hope you don’t mind me having a bit of fun with today’s silly Haiku. You all gave me a good laugh when I read the comments. It’s all in good fun that I am carrying on the conversation! 😉
can we have
~kat – 28 September 2017
(Magnetic Poetry – Original Kit)