no plan z
.
when
my best laid plans
fail
again and again,
forced to let go my best intentions,
face truth,
and accept reality,
how grateful am I
for moments
of soft clarity
reminding me how small I am
reminding me to embrace the truth…
this life is not a battle to be won
but an clear invitation to remember
i am one
with all
that I am
the calm before, and the tempest,
made of stardust
one with all living things

~kat
A pi-sequence poem. Syllable count: 3.1415926535 8979323846

Life has been a bit of a blur lately. The foothills where I live has been visited by Fern and Sage (don’t let their sweet names fool you…these girls were quite tempestuous!) over the past week and a half with temperatures deep and frigid. 

I immediately snapped into survival mode keenly aware that I am a caretaker to not only my menagerie of furry, feathered and finned aquatic friends, but my disabled spouse who depends on me to provide for and protect. In no way am I complaining. It is a labor of love to care for my little family.  I did what I have always done as a master-survivor. I assess the situation, come up with a plan, and execute the solution. It has worked for me over and over throughout my life. But this time as I worked through plans A, B, C, and on, just when I thought I had a clear directive, nature reminded me that I clearly did not. 

Hitting a wall will wake you up. I had to accept the reality that we are snowed in until nature turns up the temperature and melts the snow and ice that refuses to play by my rules. As far as I can tell, that means another week or two stranded. Plows cannot clear our steep driveway. I know this because they told us so. “So sorry…good luck!”

When you get to plan Z there is only one thing you can do. Take stock of what is, and make the best of it. During this exercise I realized what a blessing i am receiving when I took stock of the reality of our situation. 

• We are safe and warm with no power loss (I’m knocking on wood as I type), and the investment we made this autumn of a battery operated gas log system for our hearth ensures we will have heat if the power does go out.
• We have food and water to last a good long while.
• We have friends who can meet me at the road and neighbors just past the fence who can get out and about if I need essentials or medicine from the store.
• I have snow cleats for my boots to help keep me upright when I need to trek across the property. (Thanks for that tip last year Peter!)
• We have each other and our beloved animal family, and lovely friends and neighbors.
• And finally, when I was forced to stop surviving…I realized the incredible beauty around me, the gift of peace and presence, and the assurance that we would be okay. We have all we need to be okay. 

Some of the blessings…glimmers if you will ✨💚✨

And so I settled in, baked my first loaf of artisan bread in a new Dutch oven I was gifted at Christmas, and made a big pot of chicken soup. Oh, and I binge-watched the entire first season of a series I had been wanting to see but never had time for, with Gabby my pup napping next to me. 

Instead of cursing the weather, I settled in to our haven on an impassable hill during ice and snow, in the midst of trees. And I finally feel like I’ve come home. 

Much love, peace, kindness, and gentle glimmers to you!

~kat

✨✨✨❄️💚❄️✨✨✨