day 379

lost in bread dough and glimmers

I catch myself feeling content, happy even,
enjoying life, sunshine on my face, 
breathing sweet fresh air, and birdsong
    how can a five-year-old boy be 
    a criminal…the worst of the worst?
sometimes I lose myself in bread dough, 
kneading, shaping it into a perfect round mound,
the sweet smell of warm yeast wafting
    they were just trying to help, 
    domestic terrorists are not helpers 
how fortunate I am to do work I love, 
organizing, scheduling, creating, planning travel for others…
what I wouldn’t give to travel…far from here
    they disappear them one by one,
    nameless bodies, to fill their quota
I catch myself desperate to find glimmers 
bright spot in the everyday, clinging to them 
as if they are a lifeline…they are a lifeline
    have you noticed the world is on fire,
    there is smoke burning our eyes and lungs…
I vacillate between light and dark, 
joy and immense sorrow, hope and despair, compassion and anger…
    anger mostly, and survivors guilt because
    the monsters haven’t knocked on my door…yet
I bought a whistle on a lanyard the other day,
my camera phone is charged and ready 
for glimmers…for monsters, for recording
the history that they are trying to erase
there is no making sense of the lies but 
there is truth we all see with our own eyes

~kat