Category Archives: Humor

clean up needed on aisle 5

clean up needed on aisle 5

my mind is a junk drawer
it gets me nowhere
you know, I feel everything
I think you see what I’m saying,
Judy, at the Dollar General checkout
I’m going home now
but not before I check the clearance aisle
like I need more crap in my downsized life
i just might be a closeted hoarder
I’m just kidding (but you’re thinking I’m not)
the crazy rant of lunacy
and a smile that hides sadness
I’ll have you know that I have overcome every adversity, untouched
she’s super woman, mistress of her universe
they will remember that when I’m gone
such brilliant fool
who believed she could have it all and died trying
c'est la vie
“You know you don’t need us,”said the junk on aisle 5
have a nice day Judy, keep the change

~kat

Well…today’s challenge was a bear! (See what I did there? 😊). And it took a very dark turn before I knew what was happening! That said, I feel I must make the following disclaimer …the reference to first person in this poem is a purely fictional representation prompted by the weird list of prompts below…haha! I am definitely not a hoarder, closeted or otherwise, I am certainly no Wonder Woman and I am most definitely a bit “touched”, as they say, by life! So glad we cleared that up from the git-go! 🤪

NaPoWriMo 2023 Challenge – Day Eight: And here are the twenty little projects themselves — the challenge is to use them all in one poem:

1.  Begin the poem with a metaphor.

2. Say something specific but utterly preposterous.

3. Use at least one image for each of the five senses, either in succession or scattered randomly throughout the poem.

4. Use one example of synesthesia (mixing the senses).

5. Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.

6. Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.

7. Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.

8. Use a word (slang?) you’ve never seen in a poem.

9. Use an example of false cause-effect logic.

10. Use a piece of talk you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you don’t understand).

11. Create a metaphor using the following construction: “The (adjective) (concrete noun) of (abstract noun) . . .”

12. Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.

13. Make the persona or character in the poem do something he or she could not do in “real life.”

14. Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.

15. Write in the future tense, such that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.

16. Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.

17. Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no sense.

18. Use a phrase from a language other than English.

19. Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification).

20. Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes” an image from earlier in the poem.


poetic justice

poetic justice

there once was a shyster named Don
a scammer in chief, a vile con
to court he was dragged
by a porn star he shagged
how climactic, his just denouement!

~kat

A limerick today…straight from the headlines! You can’t make this stuff up! I shouldn’t be enjoying this, but I am. I can’t look away. Not sure I captured the theme…but the past few years have been over the top inappropriate. Hoping this brings a little levity to this absurd train wreck!

NaPoWriMo 2023 Challenge Day 5: write a poem in which laughter comes at what might otherwise seem an inappropriate moment – or one that the poem invites the reader to think of as inappropriate.

Naked Legs

I had a good chuckle at this poem by my friend Peter at Peter’s Ponderings, and noticed in the comments that an American might have a difficult try reading it aloud. Being American as well as always up for a good challenge I had to give it a go!

I hope I did your poem justice Peter! All in good fun! Thank you for once again delighting us all with your wit and charm! 😊

See Peter’s post via the link below…and do yourself a favor by perusing his page!

§ I tried my best to record an audio of this poem but ended up with lots of stutters and giggles. Just try reading it aloud and you’ll see why! § I …

Naked Legs

A Cheesy Limerick

Photo courtesy of PDPhotos@Pixabay.com
Not sure what Limburger cheese thinks about how its odiferous essence affects diners, but I have heard that if you can get past the smell, the cheese itself is delightfully nutty and sweet! Adding “Try Limburger cheese at least once before I die…even if it kills me!” to my bucket list. heehee! 

A Cheesy Limerick

From the Duchy of Limburg, now Liège
hails a much controversial cheese
though it smells like foul feet
it tastes nutty and sweet
slap a slice between rye if you please!

~kat

Na/GloPoWriMo2022 - Day 20 Prompt: write a poem that anthropomorphizes a kind of food.

true story

true story

I had just logged out of my work computer,
sat down to watch a bit of mindless TV
while my dog’s tilapia baked in the oven.
Okay, yes I cook for my dogs.
Vet’s orders…though…
well that’s another story
it’s for my sweet Winston
who refuses to go out in the rain
to do his business without his raincoat
Winnie, who has a special blankie and
needs to be tucked in at night

anyhoo… where was I?

just finished work
got two trays of tilapia into the oven
fed the cats (don’t think i mentioned
that or the cats)
got Winston dressed in his raincoat so he could take a wee
plopped down on the recliner sofa in the den
turned on a movie
then THIS popped up on the big screen…
what follows next 
is the conversation i had
with some AI
beaming in via satellite
from a galaxy
far, far away
no doubt
just sayin’

been a rough week
only Tuesday, you say?
rough week
Wha’? Hall-low!

Something’s not quite right.
You’re telling me…wait!? How did you know?

Your receiver has not been reset in a while.
Well that would explain a few things. It’s been a few years, hasn’t it?
What with pandemics, government coups
(attempted, alleged, your everyday tour group gone amuck in DC),
inflation, wars, mass shootings, crazy people, two presidents
(well, one just thinks he’s still the president…and people believe him!)
mean, really nasty, hateful people,
I must say I don’t miss being out there
I don’t miss the office, the gossip,
the backbiting, the hour-long commute
i thought i was doing fine,
adjusting to isola…i mean solitude
but maybe it’s affected me
just a bit more

than i realized

To prevent your system from becoming unstable…
Hey! No need to get personal bud!

…and to ensure you have the latest programming and software updates….
great hook! i’m listening…
let me guess
three easy payments of $9.95,
free shipping and double this offer

so i can share it with…

…your receiver will be reset in 45 seconds.
Ha…wish it was that easy. You’re right. Something’s not quite right…

Most resets take less than 5 minutes.



well, i just spent 45 seconds in
a conversation with my television
i’m not sure 5 minutes is gonna cut it

think i’m gonna go unplug

the microwave
just in case


~kat 🤪

NaPoWriMo 2022 - Day 5 Prompt: write a poem about a mythical person or creature doing something unusual – or at least something that seems unusual in relation to that person/creature.

I had fun with this one. Don’t know if it’s a poem…or on topic, but i had fun! 😊