elevator music is little consolation, mindless games on my smartphone, a favorite song, full blast, channel surfing, tik tok scrolling, chocolate, hot tea, happy thoughts, positive thinking is futile, powerless when the unknown looms just beyond my reach, and the answers I seek demand patience that is wearing thin… thinner still, the veil, drifting into view brushing my shoulders, caressing me in the excruciating silence of waiting waiting is a merciless exercise where I find myself counting each breath, inhaling deeply, filling to the brim, exhaling slowly, settling into my skin, to think I try to find solace in these things, to muster silly defenses against the terribleness of unknowing when all I really need is to feel, to experience the moment, the now to hear the rain dancing on the roof to realize it’s enough and all I need to know
I don’t mind being encroached upon by the invasive species of these foothills… blackberry brambles hug the long driveway to my house on the hill bursting with fruit I don’t mind that the deer, the squirrels, the rabbits, chickadees, finches, cardinals, and wrens will glean most of this year’s bounty… I don’t even mind sharing with bullish, boisterous bluejays I’ll happily savor my annual handful of luscious sweets, fingers stained a lovely shade of purple-blue how gracious my neighbors are sweetly serenading me, gracing me with visits that take my breath they don’t mind me trudging noisily along the wood’s edge rustling them from their burrows and perches…they don’t mind being encroached upon by me…
it’s occurred to me that I have been dying my entire life, little by little teardrop by teardrop heart-stop by heart-stop as every love cut short nips a piece of me and carries it like a souvenir over the rainbow to summer land, to heaven, to Valhalla, leaving me to stop the bleeding, to heal to move on until the next assault of grief comes wielding a sickle slicing bits of me, it’s a crash course in letting go, you know, preparing me, I suppose… and when my time comes to shed this beleaguered flesh my soul will surely be bejeweled with pieces of you and you and you… if I’ve loved you and you me, I’m afraid it’s inevitable…so I’m apologizing in advance, for contributing to your own collection of tiny deaths, if I should be the first to leave… forgive me for snatching a bit of your light to keep me in the dark unknown imagine me in the mist beyond the veil, bedazzled with pieces of you and you and you on some starry starry night we’ll dance around the moon
~kat
Rest in Peace, Thelonious Myles – May 31, 2024 ~ We loved you for two years…not long enough for you or us, but at least you knew you were loved. ❤️
how tempted am I to lose myself here deep, deeper still, hidden from the dawn “I’ll be back soon,” I lie, “I won’t be long.” far off the path, no turning back, no fear deep, deeper still, hidden from the dawn how tempted am I to lose myself here
~kat
Poetry Form: the Biolet
The Biolet is a six line poem, and like the triolet, the first two lines are repeated as the last two lines, however in reverse. The rhyme scheme of the biolet thus can be expressed as ABbaBA (with the capital letters representing the repeated lines). The length of the lines can be in iambic tetrameter (8 syllables), iambic pentameter (10 syllables), iambic hexameter (12 syllables), or in unmetered lines of random lengths.
I dipped my toes into the dirt the other day leaves of grass gave way, crushed under my feet, blades of green sprouting through the in between I expected to feel magic, connection, something I don’t know what I was thinking…it’s been so long since I‘ve let my feet run free, unencumbered by socks and hard-soled shoes, not a day goes by that I allow myself this luxury, so long it has been that my feet stumble, my toes curl inward, when I try throwing me off balance, how unfamiliar it feels, I suppose it has been too long, but I hope not too late to reconnect with the space beneath me, with the world around me, with the dirt, cool and moist, soft and forgiving there is magic, I’m sure of it, I’ve just forgotten how to dance while on my way to becoming, I forgot how to become undone
So it is easier for you to find all the parts/chapters of my ongoing fiction series, I created a new page that lists all the links. You can check it out HERE!
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