February 15, 2025

day 45 ~ and we wait & day 46 ~ affirmations

Spent several hours in the office space where I worked for 7 years before the pandemic sent me home to work remotely. It felt like a ghost town, but was a haven in the storm where I was able to recharge our generator batteries. Thankfully we didn’t need to use them for more than a few hours. in case you missed it… a huge glimmer her and gratefulness for access to resources.

Some random thoughts as I catch up on the past two days

day 45 ~ and we wait

blackout 

the prospect of one more night
of bitter cold, of darkness, of death
our tropical fish succumbing one by one
it’s an unbearable burden 
my best attempts to sustain us
woefully inadequate but I keep fighting
the warm-blooded souls under our roof
huddled, hanging on to the promise
that the services we depend upon
will be restored before day’s end 
heartened by activity, tree removal 
and utility trucks, in the neighborhood
trust slipping away by the hours 
as darkness once again swallows the light

but I digress…
is this what it will be like
In coming years as safety nets
are eliminated, as our country crumbles
as the loyalists of the king are rewarded
and those of us opposed or other are
excluded to fend for ourselves…
must prepare, must be better prepared 

huddled under layers of clothes and 
blankets I close my eyes in hope
that at least this night the light 
will break through, that power will
be restored, that we will be safe again
and then
a sputter, the hum of electronics, the
computer screens flash on, the printer
reboots and the heat growls to a start
i lay motionless, while the grid surges 
wondering if it is temporary or real
…waiting…wondering…waiting
hoping…as the room becomes warmer
a sigh, a full breath of relief … such relief
short lived, as my mind rudely intrudes must be better prepared…must prepare

~kat

An update. Just lost a few tetras…the other fish held on!

day 46~affirmations 

repeat after me…

I’m still here
I matter
I have value
I am worthy
I am brave
I am a survivor
I deserve respect
I deserve to be happy
I deserve to be free
I am smart
I am compassionate 
I am kind
I am light
I am love 
and yes I am here…I AM SO HERE!

Peace, love, and glimmers of affirmation to you, and remember, you are a magnificent soul. 

~kat