For years I have trained my eyes to detect heart-shaped things…leaves, puddles, watermarks, tea leaves, tree bark, and stones. Especially stones. Once my mind was on task, a heart-shaped something could stop me in my tracks, giving me a warm feeling inside and a smile on my lips. In that moment I felt seen by the universe, by nature…I felt loved.
So I started collecting them, rocks shaped like hearts. I had boxes of them. Seems there is no shortage of love in this troubled world if you know where to look. And I started giving them to people, random strangers even in a grocery store checkout line, hoping to lift their heart, as mine has been all these years.
Rocks shaped like hearts in particular are especially precious and unique. Even a “heart” like the one I am sharing here, smaller than a penny, may have started out as a great boulder. It takes time, and sometimes great adversity, the shedding of dross, breaking, being crushed, becoming smaller, to attain the perfection of heart-ness. Perhaps that is why the simple gesture of finding or receiving a heart-shaped rock resonates with us. Those of us who have lived through hardship and adversity know the process well. A tiny rock is a reminder that even after all this there is beautiful meaningfulness and value in the familiar shaped shards left behind. Reminding us too, that even in our own brokenness we have value and the capacity to be a light for others.
I think it’s time for me to start collecting again. To carry a few nuggets of hope in my pocket, so that I can part with them when the time is right. Especially now when so many of us feel powerless and invisible. It’s the least I can do after these little gems have done so much work to be noticed.
light beings
each soul has value the capacity to hope to glow with a light that glimmers through brokenness to extinguish the darkness
Much Love, peace and heart-shaped glimmers to you!
Today’s glimmer is a little different. It wasn’t a thing, but a feeling, rather a realization that I am tougher and more capable than I ever thought I could be.
Let me tell you about my day…
This was our driveway today. Several days ago we had a winter storm rage through. We didn’t get much snow, but we got ice…lots of it. Enough to down trees and cause us to lose power for half a day. The cold and winds haven’t let up so we are basically ice-locked from civilization. By civilization I mean the road and the mailbox. Our driveway is about 1/8 of a mile long and has a 35 degree incline. Even on a good day it’s quite a trek to the mailbox. I generally hop in the car and drive down to get the mail.
Well the world below has resumed to business as usual. The roads are plowed and dry, and delivery trucks have been doing what they do. My order trackers had informed me that there were several packages in and around the mailbox. I figured I’d best make my way down the hill to get them, along with some important mail I had been waiting for.
I bundled up in layers, put on my hiking boots, and grabbed one of my partner’s crutches to use as a walking stick. My plan was to walk along the edge that is made up of gravel and leaves. The paved driveway was coated with 1/2 an inch of slick, solid ice.
I had only taken a few steps when the crutch slid out from under me over the ice tumbling me into the blackberry brambles. I may have rolled a bit before regaining my footing, because I had to pry the branches off my coat to get free. At this point I was determined, pressing on until I realized that the side of the driveway was narrowing, leaving me limited safe ground to walk on. I was now teetering on the edge of a ravine that ran along the driveway. I think you know where this is heading!!! Yep, I tumbled once again. This time into the ravine!
Undaunted, I pressed on measuring my steps along the base of the ravine as far as I could. Unfortunately that path wouldn’t get me to the bottom so I decided I needed to get back to the driveway to make my way to the grassy edge on the other side. I punched the icy hill with my hands to give myself something to hold as I made my way up to the driveway’s edge. A delivery driver on the road who had been watching me asked if I was okay. I told him I thought so. He waved and wasted no time getting into his van, driving away.
In hindsight this was probably a good thing for my dignity! I had finally reached the driveway. I tossed the crutch to the other side and tried to crawl. That turned out to be a bad idea. I started sliding back down toward the ravine. So I dropped to my belly and slither-slid across the driveway. Once i reached the gully and got back on my feet, the remaining descent was easy. I found one package leaning against a tree, and several more, along with some mail, stuffed in the mailbox. Mission accomplished? Well, not exactly. I had to figure out a way to get back up the hill.
I decided I would cut through the woods rather than up the driveway. The ice and snow there seemed less solid and I figured I would have better footing. I headed up the gully until I got to a moderately steep entrance to the woods. I was able to dig my toes into the ice which gave me footing. It was a long grueling trek. When I got to the clearing in view of the house, I discovered that the yard had a thick layer of ice. I was forced to walk along the perimeter until I found an area where ice had melted and patches of grass were popping through. I dug my feet into the ice and slowly made my way up the sloped yard.
If you’re still with me, I hope you now understand today’s glimmer. As hard as it was, I felt so empowered as I stepped into the warmth and safety of my home with that satchel of packages. To have faced and overcome so many challenges gave me such a rush.
A few hours later, another delivery truck left a package at the mailbox. They even sent me a picture. haha. Well, it’ll keep until things thaw. One great adventure was enough for today!!!!
I wrote a little poem to commemorate this achievement! Peace and glimmers to you!
mission possible
empowerment is scaling an ice-glazed driveway and living to tell
there are moments when you bark at me “you’re driving too fast, too slow, too close to the road’s edge” as if i am intent on killing us both i forget in that hot minute that it is the pain screaming, not you not that i am entirely blameless, but your wrath outweighs my crime and in that bitter moment of raw helplessness, I ignore the pain that haunts you, that haunts us, that thing we dare not name, by joining your bloody diatribe regretting my loss of control the very second my defensive outburst pollutes the space between us, daggers stabbing our silenced broken hearts, our shared brokenness magnified…
when hope was a thing I imagined you walking when hope was a thing
i know I can’t possibly fathom the relentless pain you’re suffering, the endless hours trying sleep it away, the losses… your career, your plans, your independence…the least I can do is drive…just drive, please forgive my forgetfulness the pain has changed you… changed us both
“How are YOU doing?” a friend asked the other day tears gave me away
i’m sorry i asked i don’t want your opinion it’s not worth two cents
~kat
Na/GloPoWriMo2022 - Day 15 Prompt: write a poem about something you have absolutely no interest in. Well, there you have it. On prompt. Ima truth, just the facts, kinda girl. But i can’t just leave this here without adding a little love before i go…Go full moon tonight! She’s a beaut’!
Full Moon in April over Bramlett Mountain ~kat 2022
Today you get a three-fer…Friday, Saturday and Sunday’s prompt responses. Not that i wasn’t writing each day but true to form, i wanted to give each offering its creative due. Happy Sunday!
Na/GloPoWriMo Day 8 prompt: name your alter-ego, and then describe him/her in detail. Then write in your alter-ego’s voice. _______________________
pure transparency superpower revealed truth is my weapon
~kat
Glo/NaPoWriMo 2022 Day 9 Prompt: write in a specific form – the nonet! A nonet has nine lines. The first line has nine syllables, the second has eight, and so on until you get to the last line, which has just one syllable. ______________________
fishbowl in flux
when the snails passed away this week the tetras dined on escargots catfish came out of hiding to clean the empty shell nothing is wasted life cycles on, season’s change, nature’s way
even now after all these years just the thought of her ignites love’s embers, the smoldering subtle tinge of longing, yesteryear flashing in excruciating, technicolored detail sunlight glistening through the fine hair on her bare skin, scent of warm musk, soft bursts of breath, melded, crescendoing to a sigh remembering…remembering that once upon a moment past touches me so deeply after all these years even now
So it is easier for you to find all the parts/chapters of my ongoing fiction series, I created a new page that lists all the links. You can check it out HERE!
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like mercury colliding... 