Category Archives: Essays

House as Self – Sunday Writing Challenge

You never know when you might need that 3-inch lug-nut wrench that came with the baby gate I had when my kids were toddling.

“How old are my kids?” you ask.

Well, if you must know, they have children of their own now. All the more reason to hang onto that little tool. Never know when they might need it.

“And the keys?” you ask, “What are they for?”

Well, that black one? That was from my first apartment. Great place that was. Just a block away from downtown. Loved that place. And that tiny one? My very first diary. I still have it…somewhere…I think. The others? I’m not sure. But someone knows. So I keep them around, just in case.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that all of this junk is useless. But I’ll have you know that I’m the first one everyone comes to when they need tape, a pen, a battery or a rubber-band. I can be counted on for a paper clip in a pinch, or a bandaid or one of those adapter thingies that you use to plug a three-pronged plug into a two-pronged outlet.

Junk you say? I know, and you do too, that you would be lost without me, but it’s okay if you don’t want to admit it. You know I’ll always be here if you need me. Remember that next time you need a twist-tie.

~kat

For MindLoveMiserysMenagerie Sunday Writing Prompt:”House as Self”. They say you can tell a lot about a person by the parts of a house that they are drawn to. I find myself reflected not in a particular room or space, but a drawer…a junk drawer to be exact. You know you love me…😉


Sunday’s Week in ReVerse -18 February 2018

So, rough week here in the States. Inconceivable loss for several families on a day that started like any other. The sun rose in the east, wisps of clouds streamed across a crisp blue sky, and I’ve no doubt there was happy birdsong sweetening the breeze wherever people happened to be. It was an ordinary day that flipped into a nightmare at the hands of a disturbed, angry, young man, left behind by the dwindling resources of our top heavy nation.

By evening the horrible facts started to trickle in…17 dead, many wounded; and with it, regret for words unsaid in the rush of the morning, dreams cut short, trauma inflicted, survivors made. Adding salt to fresh wounds was a litany of vapid talking points from our leaders, “thoughts and prayers for this tragedy that our children should never suffer…” but it’s “too soon…too soon to talk about” regulating our homegrown militia of angry white men. It was, of course, as it always is, about mental health, punctuated by a victim-shaming lecture, against those who witnessed the festering insanity of the shooter and said nothing, even though they did say something, we learned, to law enforcement who regretfully missed the gravity of this impending doom. But it wasn’t guns, it’s never guns that caused this latest slaughter of our greatest treasure. With a nod to the NRA, a gun show opened shop a county away from the shuttered crime scene for what would be a banner weekend of arming the fearful with weapons of war.

By Friday, Congress recessed early, the president went golfing, and another news cycle shifted the focus of our attention to porn stars with stained dresses, playboy bunnies, Russian Bots, cyber attacks, justice on the cusp and a “no collusion, but it is Obama’s fault” mantra of vindication spewing from 45’s vile mouth. He finished the week by grinning, “thumbs up” in a photo op with the medical teams who were charged with patching our battered youth together to face another ordinary, possibly horrible day.

We’ve had too many weeks like this. Except…this time feels different. This time feels angry and raw and perhaps even hopeful. The curtain has been ripped back revealing those whose pockets are lined with blood money, calling them to account for their complicity and cowardice. This time there is a force rising, armed with the fiercest of weapons…truth. And though they are young, they are legion; older and wiser than their 5-6 year old contemporaries whose memories still haunt us. This same generation has found its voice and will soon be old enough to vote. A storm is coming with its thunderous cry…”Enough!” This gives me hope even as I grieve.

It’s been a rough week, but I want to leave you with this: Be gentle with yourself. Say I love you often. Breath deliberately, slowly in, then out, and savor each moment as best you can. None of us are promised tomorrow. All the more reason to seize the day. Peace.

Sunday’s Week in ReVerse -18 February 2018

giving a damn often leads to losing one’s shit
a sweaty blob in a puddle of drool
it’s sometimes a symptom
the honey-soaked earth glimmering…
you were meant to fly
Do you have a minute?
a trio of cowbirds perch aloft, screaming
high above a flat earth…cows
should be an easy choice
sweet
silence
it takes empathy
life is a mere blip
harmonic dissonance
that’s a lot of love
only a breath lingers
charmed by the sun
and the gaslight flickers to black

~kat

A ReVerse poem is a summary poem with a single line lifted from each entry of a collection of work over a particular timeframe and re-penned in chronological order as a new poem. Unlike a collaborative poem, the ReVerse features the words of one writer, providing a glimpse into their thoughts over time. I use it as a review of the previous week.


Messan – Friday’s Word of the Day

Today’s Word of the day at Dictionary.com is Messan.

Its definition from the Dictionary of the Scots Language states that a messan is…
1. A small pet dog or house dog, as opposed to a dog used for some form of work, a lap-dog 
2. (a word) used contemptuously: a mongrel, a cur 
3. A term of contempt applied to human adults signifying lack of stature or dignity; or to a child.

Dictionary.com tells us that, The English noun messan “small dog, lap dog” comes from Scots Gaelic measan “small dog,” cognate with Irish Gaelic measán, both of which are diminutives of Gaelic mess “favored (one).” Messan entered English in the late 15th century.

It’s not a word that is used often, and I couldn’t find a lot of additional info online. It is a timely word, nonetheless, for today’s celebration of Chinese New Year and the beginning of the Year of the Earth Dog. Happy New Year!

I also learned that messan is a valid Scrabble word, so if you are a game board enthusiast, keep this one in your brain vault of useful words. According to Merriam-Webster 59 playable words can be unscrambled from this gem that has a letter value of 8 points.

Of course, before I close I must admit that I have a few messans of my very own, though they do not fit the physical description as defined. Still, they think they are messans and I have a few bruises to show for it! I was able to find an obscure dictionary reference (Century Dictionary and Cyclopedia: Including Atlas of the World …, Volume 5) that actually mentioned ‘mastiffs’ in the definition. So perhaps there is an instinctual reason why my big lugs find my lap so appealing!

Have a great weekend! 😊

messan-dogs find laps
their favorite place to be
that’s a lot of love

~kat


Euphoria

If I’m being honest, there are only a handful of times I’ve experienced true euphoria. Meeting my children for the first time ranks right up there.

Certainly it was euphoria erupting in the sterile confines of those clinically-monitored natural events. I recall the sting of ammonia residue burning my nostrils, released in short Lamaze “hee, hee, ho, ho, oh god!” purse-lipped bursts, the push, don’t push groaning pelvic floor implosions, and the excruciating waves of dull, sharp, 9-10-is there an 11? on a scale of how bad is it? pain.

I was drenched in euphoria by the tingling tickle of cool sweat beads popping from my pores under the glare of strobing fluorescent lights, my muscles shaking uncontrollably, the incessant click-clacking of wheels on linoleum, paper-booted feet shuffling, fetal heart monitor lub-dubbing and by the startling smack of cold metal on my bare back on its sticky slide to the edge, my fuzzy-socked feet lodged securely in stirrups cradling my heels, while a dozen excited eyes burned a hole through my gaping crotch.

But oh… that was only foreplay, euphorically speaking. The exquisite climax to this laboring rush came at long last in the hot, wet, rushing sensation of soft alien flesh sliding from my core into the waiting, latex-gloved hands of a masked stranger who uttered the words I had waited nine long, bloated, nauseating, glowing months to hear…maybe even longer, if I’m being honest. “You did it, Mama! Meet your beautiful daughter!” That, my friends was euphoria!

Euphoria is a sliver shy of madness don’t you think? It’s a scientific fact actually, in some cases, you can look it up. But if we are lucky, it consumes us at least once in a lifetime. I have been quadruply blessed, but I fear my heart could not survive a steady dose of it!

even euphoria

an exhilarating experience
has a dark side

it’s sometimes a symptom
of carbon monoxide poisoning, hard drugs or mania…
I’m perfectly content with really, really happy

~kat

A few thoughts and a Cherita on the topic of Euphoria for Mind Love Misery’s Menageries’ Sunday Writing Prompt: Describe a moment in your real or fictional life when you experienced euphoria. Be as vivid as possible, hit all the senses (and I don’t just mean the basic 5).


Sunday’s Week in ReVerse – 11 February 2018

I look forward to this little exercise of looking back each week. Though I write each day with no thought of this grand summary at week’s end, I am always amazed by the result.

Some might say that looking back has no real value in the present; that it detracts from living in the moment. But I believe gleaning the brightest and best moments to cherish in the present moment bolsters positivity and affirms what we should already know, but too easily forget.

I can sense you wondering right now, “What do we forget?” See how easily that happens? You know what it is, but the weight of this given moment gnaws at you. “What might someone think if I blurted it out; that thing I know?” Self-talk will derail any good thing if you listen too closely to it.

I don’t know why I am so surprised by these weekly masterpieces; these patchworks of taken-out-of-context lines that I call ReVerses.

But I should expect them to be magnificent, because they are a reflection of my soul. Because life is a miracle…and I am alive…therefore I am a miracle. By the way…you are too…a living, breathing, walking, miracle that begets miracles just because.

Have you forgotten? Please don’t.

Sunday’s Week in ReVerse – 11 February 2018

floating down, down, down
she’s wearing diamonds tonight
wintering in rouge chiffon
it is passion’s rage
flushing … face crimson red…
they claimed their prize…
velvety, dark, steamy…
the edge of lunacy teetering on a swiveling, ergonomic chair on wheels
felicitous flukes
the grated abyss has devoured it
be that as it may
buzzards prowl, circling
you can’t be serious
driving blind
unless it’s your life
skin tingled from the heat
so many stories left to tell
life, encapsulated
raindrops on pavement

~kat

A ReVerse poem is a summary poem with a single line lifted from each entry of a collection of work over a particular timeframe and re-penned in chronological order as a new poem. Unlike a collaborative poem, the ReVerse features the words of one writer, providing a glimpse into their thoughts over time. I use it as a review of the previous week.