Category Archives: Humor

July 5, 2016

If we were having…

There is this writing prompt here on WordPress that I see every now and again. It starts with the phrase, “If we were having coffee…”

Um, okay, I’m gonna stop you right there. I’ve been limiting my coffee intake, so I hope you don’t mind if I take a bit of artistic liberty here.

Let’s start this again…I like herbal tea by the way…with honey…unless it’s Earl Gray…then I like my tea with cream and a bit of sugar. Where were we? Ah-hem…

“If we were having tea…um…I forgot to ask. Do you like your tea black? I think that’s the right term for it…or I could ask if you are a tea purist…Or…oops…you might actually be okay with having coffee. Cream and sugar? With your coffee? I hope you don’t use those artificial sweeteners…they are sooo bad for you!

Hot Chocolate, you say? With marshmallows? That works too!

Back to the beginning then. This is the great thing about being an artist…the possibilities! Here we go…

“If you were having coffee…oops sorry, I have coffee on the brain right now. Do you think it’s possible to go through coffee withdrawal? Forgive me…Let’s start over. I got this. Okay.

“If you were having hot chocolate with marshmallows and I was having jasmine tea with honey…” If I’m being honest here, and I think that is the point of this exercise, tea really doesn’t cut it for me. It’s basically watered down leaves with no kick, but I do feel healthier when I drink it…I do like it I suppose. I love teapots. I collect them. Hmmm

One more time. I’m sticking with the program this time. (Deep breath)

” If you were having hot chocolate with marshmallows and I was having jasmine tea with honey…”

I think the goal of this writing exercise is to write a conversational dialog. Maybe we could talk about current events.

What is that? You make it point not to talk politics. You don’t watch the news? Well okay, I get that.

Maybe we can talk about…oh…thanks for letting me know. You don’t talk about religion either…and you don’t believe in airing your family’s dirty laundry? Uh, I’m okay with that. We can pass on those topics.

So…what do you think about all this rain we’ve been having? Yep crazy. You got that right!

Is your coff…uh hot chocolate cool? I can nuke it in the microwave for you if you’d…ah, you have an appointment?

Well, thanks for stopping by. Good talk! Have a great day. We’ll have to do this again…soon. Or maybe not. Busy busy. I get it.

(Sigh) I think I’ll drop the “if” or “we” this time. I am going to have myself a coffee with a dram of Irish cream. Ahhh!

I think there is a reason I’ve been avoiding this writing prompt! 🙂

~ kat ~ 5 July 2016

14 Comments | tags: #weekendcoffeeshare, coffee, conversations, hot chocolate with marshmallows, tea, writing challenge | posted in Challenges and Writing Prompts, Digital Art & Photos, Essays, Humor, Random Thoughts and Musings

June 29, 2016

Summer Fun – A Haiku

By Kat Myrman

For Ronovan…a Haiku using the prompt words Summer and Fun. At my age, these two words are not synonymous. 😓

In the summer heat
my goal is not to have fun…
it’s to find a fan!

kat ~ 29 June 1016

17 Comments | tags: fun, Haiku, Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge, Summer | posted in Challenges and Writing Prompts, Haiku, Humor, Poetry

May 27, 2016

Fard – Friday’s Word of the Day Haiku

By Kat Myrman

Today’s Dictionary.com word of the day has multiple applications depending on who you ask. Fard as first presented is a noun as well as a verb, originating in the mid 1400’s or so, from the old French term farder, meaning “to apply makeup” or as a word for the makeup itself. An archaic definition is also cited; its meaning, “to gloss over.”

It is a simple, sort of silly sounding word that truly gets interesting when Google is consulted.

The urban dictionary, for example provides a myriad of definitions ranging from the combination of a certain expletive with the word “hard” (meaning something “very hard”), to the description of crude bodily functions. Most memorable is its application when describing a fart so powerful it vibrates nearby body parts (paraphrased here to avoid utter crudeness!) Think about that when you are applying makeup (aka fard) to your face!

But we’re not finished. Wikipedia elevates the discussion with a loftier take:

“Fard is an Islamic term which denotes a religious duty commanded by Allah (God). The word is also used in Persian, Turkish, and Urdu (spelled farz) in the same meaning. Muslims who obey such commands or duties are said to receive hasanat, ajr or thawab each time for each good deed.”

I think it’s safe to assume this application of the word does not include farting!

But there is more! According to another wiki reference, in India a fard is a document that provides revenue details for property. It is not proof of ownership per se, like a deed, but can provide documentation when attempting to establish owenership.

What an interesting little word. To be safe I should probably stick with dictionary.com’s initial definition for my haiku. But I might slip in a few references of its other meanings just to make this challenge FARD!

Fard – A Haiku

A daily practice…
Farding one’s wan face with fard
It’s only skin deep.

kat ~ 27 May 2016

11 Comments | tags: Challenge, fard, Haiku, word of the day | posted in Challenges and Writing Prompts, Essays, Haiku, Humor, Poetry, Random Thoughts and Musings, Word of the Day Haiku

April 25, 2016

April Poetry Month – A Poem a Day #25

By Kat Myrman

I been in love with, and have used alliterations long before I knew there was a word for it. Alliterations are the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words.

Some examples of alliterations are: “towering trees”, “bouncing baby”, “fleeting fantasies”…you get the idea. In another example the alliterations are interrupted by non-alliterative words but the effect is the same. From Shakespeare: “From forth the fatal loins of these two foes; A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life.”

There is something about the repetition of consonants and sounds in a line of poetry or prose that is fun to say and pleasing to hear. Alliterations give verse a lyrical quality. Today I found a fun poetry form called the Alliterisen. It was developed by Udit Bhatia and is a simple seven-lined poem with a specific syllable pattern and two alliterations per line.

The syllable structure for the Complex Alliterisen is as follows allowing for infinite syllable sequences:

1st line- x syllables
2nd line- x+2 syllables
3rd line- x-1 syllables
4th line- (x+2)-1 syllables
5th line- x-2 syllables
6th line- (x+2)-2 syllables
7th line- x syllables

Note: this is Udit Bhatia’s description. I had to smile when I saw the algebraic quality of his structural guides. For example (x+2) – 1, if the x in question were 9 could easily be written, x+1 for the same result…10. I mention this because I am extremely right-brained and the thought of algebra makes my head hurt! Don’t let the seemingly complicated rules keep you from trying this poetry form. Here is a kinder, gentler version of the syllable structure:

1st line: x syllables
2nd line: x+2 syllables
3rd line: x-1 syllables
4th line: x+1 syllables
5th line: x-2 syllables
6th line: x syllables
7th line: x syllables

Dazzling Delusion

I am quite a quixotic, driveling dolt (10)
supposing somehow I possess the wit to write! (12)
Just how hard can four short verses be? (9)
My busy brain’s cacophony concocts a (11)
steady stream of lovely, lilting, (8)
Rhyming, rhythmic, dazzling delusions, (10)
waxing poetic perfection in words. (10)

kat ~ 25 April 2016

8 Comments | tags: Alliterisen, Poetry, poetry form, poetry month, poets | posted in Challenges and Writing Prompts, Humor, Poetry, Random Thoughts and Musings

April 17, 2016

Adventures..Um…DISASTERS in Baking

By Kat Myrman

My daughter’s baby shower is next weekend and it is everything yellow. I thought some Lemon French Macaroons would be really pretty on the table, but I’m intimidated by anything French so I decided to give it a trial run today!

I found a recipe in Pinterest HERE. Just in case you want to give it a try.

The chef is confident that anyone can do it. (I hear you shaking your head and rolling your eyes right now…but I was determined!)

I assembled the ingredients and started with the merengue shells.
<img src=”https://katmyrman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/img_6753-1.jpg” alt=””

I’m feeling confident. Just look at those nice egg whites! So far so good!

This is likely where things went downhill. Everything seemed to be going according to the recipe…

The chef issued several warnings not to over fold the batter…I I freaked a bit. I’m thinking in retrospect I didn’t fold the batter enough….

Note to self…sandwich bags are definitely a messy alternative to pastry bags. If there is a next time, get pastry bags!

I let the batter rest the prescribed time.

Baked them the shortest time called for in the recipe, but I think they could have used less time.

While the shells were cooling I made the Lemon Buttercream Filling.

The Verdict: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!! Just kidding! But clearly this takes a bit of practice. So do try it…several times before serving to your guests.