Category Archives: Essays

January 21, 2018

Sorry…Not Sorry – A Rant

By Kat Myrman

A rant, as requested for Mindlovemiserysmenagerie’s Sunday Writing Prompt. Interesting prompt this week MLMM. Normally I would apologize for ranting, but since you asked…

Sorry…Not Sorry – A Rant

Do I offend you because I speak my mind? Because, in your words, “I care more about my beliefs than I care about you?”

Now you demand an apology and my silence in order to be welcomed back into your presence. Sorry…not sorry.

The truth is, you offend me. You, and your willful aversion to the truth. You and your self-righteous double-life…all love and politeness on the outside while you fester with fear and hatred on the inside.

I guess you thought you had me this time by denying that I existed, by breaking my heart, by disowning me. It had always worked in the past, with me acquiescing to your demands, tiptoeing on eggshells, towing your rigid, unforgiving line, playing by your rules. But I finally realize that nothing I do or don’t do will appease your self-involved, demanding heart.

Once, it didn’t matter to me if I assumed my expected ‘present but silent’, unquestioningly loyal role in your perfect life. But now? Now I see your heart, clear as day, and I am deeply embarrassed, disheartened and disgusted that I allowed myself to be tossed by your whims for so long. 100 “I’m sorry’s” will not make you happy. Not even 1000.

And frankly…can I be frank? Oh what the hell, you’re not listening anyway. I need to sleep each night. I need to live what I believe to be good and compassionate and true. I need to know that I did not sell my soul for the sake of a win.

Even so, I’ll always love you. We are blood, after all, connected by the strands of our DNA, but I’m not going to beg anymore. I happen to like who I am. And I’m learning that liking myself is what matters most of all, even if it means losing you.

~kat

Do I feel better? Not really…well, maybe a little, but my heart is still broken. Ranting can’t fix that. 😢💔😢

24 Comments   |  tags: , , , | posted in Challenges and Writing Prompts, Essays, Life Lessons, Random Thoughts and Musings

January 21, 2018

Sunday’s Week in ReVerse – 21 January 2018

By Kat Myrman


Today I am grateful.

I am grateful for the constancy of the sun by day and the moon by night; for the gentle cycling of the seasons; for cool breezes and refreshing rain; for all things green and living; for a heart that beats and for lungs that inhale and exhale without prompting.

Today I am grateful.

I am grateful for dog slobber on my clean, black trousers; for cat fur speckled sweaters; for the untidy remnants of animals and children at play; for the music of laughter and sweet whispers; for the smiles of strangers in long lines at the grocery store.

Today I am grateful.

No matter how crazy this world gets…with its threats of nuclear doom, terrorism, government shutdowns, lack of empathy, insanity, hate, rage…I know that all that matters is this moment, right here, right now. How grateful am I for its simplicity; for the gift of being here; for the blessing of words; for the keyboard in front of me that helps me pour them into this blog. And how grateful I am for you, reading this in your right now moment; grateful, so very grateful for the connection we share.

Peace, love and blessings to you. Go gently my friends…a moment in time is an eternity.

Sunday’s Week in ReVerse – 21 January 2018

it is barely a whisper,
words to inspire, to move
a hint of fragrance
sending the petals gently fluttering
good intentions fade
whining, wailing, trifling
silence
making up for lost time,
one right after the other
narcissist
tell it like it is…
captive to torture
we shall overcome
the dark world, always
the force is strong
the mind knows

~kat

A ReVerse poem is a summary poem with a single line lifted from each entry of a collection of work over a particular timeframe and re-penned in chronological order as a new poem. Unlike a collaborative poem, the ReVerse features the words of one writer, providing a glimpse into their thoughts over time. I use it as a review of the previous week.

6 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Digital Art & Photos, Essays, Poetry, Random Thoughts and Musings, Reverse Poem, Shi Sai, Week in Review

January 20, 2018

Enfant Terrible – Friday’s Word of the Day

By Kat Myrman

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Friday’s Word of the Day ay dictionary.com is enfant terrible. (Think French accent when you say it…”ahn-fahn te-ree-bluh”). It is defined as an outrageously outspoken or bold person who says and does indiscreet or irresponsible things; an incorrigible child, as one whose behavior is embarrassing.

As for the origin of this word, In  French enfant terrible means “terrible child,” one whose language and behavior are embarrassing to adults. From the beginning of the appearance of enfant terrible in English in the mid-19th century, the phrase has also referred to adults who embarrass or compromise their party or faction by outrageous speech or behavior, especially artists or other creative people notorious for their unconventional lifestyle.

As its definition states, enfant terrible is a French word that literally, translated means ‘terrible child’. While it may have originally been used to describe actual incorrigible children, it is more often used these days to describe unconventional adults, particularly artists and designers in the fashion industry whose eccentric lifestyles and actions are forgiven for the fact that there is an undercurrent of genius displayed in their creations. And then, there are politicians…

I know what you’re thinking. You are probably surprised that I did not immediately apply this word to our current E.T. in Chief. It is tempting and all too easy. I did try to avoid the obvious in order to explore the nuances of this interesting, albeit timely word. But since my enfant terrible brain keeps bringing it up, I’m not completely sure that genius is a part of the makeup of political enfant terribles. It is quite possible there are other factors in play such as greed, lust for power, privilege, narcissism that drive their enfant terrible behavior…less forgivable for the resulting chaos they create…but I digress. And I’m a day late. Admittedly, I was rapt in the yesterday’s news of a roomful of enfant terribles who voted to shut the government down. A fitting one-year anniversary gift for our E.T. in Chief.

At any rate here are three Haiku to make up for my naughtiness.

enfant terribles
need an audience to shock
captive to torture

tell it like it is…
find an enfant terrible
if you want the truth

big baby
enfant terrible
narcissist

kat

6 Comments   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Essays, Haiku, Poetry, Random Thoughts and Musings, Word of the Day Haiku

January 14, 2018

Sunday’s Week in ReVerse – 14 January 2018

By Kat Myrman


Sometimes when I finish pulling lines from the previous week’s posts I am drawn into the resulting ‘reVerse’, begging me to wrap myself in it…a moment of pure grace. I read the collage of snippets over and over savoring each word. I so needed this respite from the ugly discourse of recent days…oh, how I needed it!

I remember a time when we were taught manners, and admonished for not minding them. I remember when it was customary to say things like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, ‘pardon’ or ‘excuse me’…when it was polite to offer someone a place ahead of you in line, when we dressed up for special occasions, when we valued education, our elders, and always told the truth…even if it hurt or was uncomfortable because lying was one of the most horrible things anyone could do. I remember when being a person of faith meant that you lived by a higher standard, loving mercy, doing justice, walking in compassion, serving the least.

Perhaps I’m just delusional and these memories aren’t real at all. Maybe these things are figments of my imagination…a utopia that existed in my closed, privileged, safe little world. I wish I had been more aware. I wonder why I was not. How did I miss it? Why am I surprised by the ugliness rumbling just beneath the surface and blaring at us now in broad daylight? It’s been this way for a while now.

It feels like one step forward, two steps back. It feels like when you’re trying to inconspicuously itch a scab but end up ripping it off and blood is everywhere and you try not to notice it and then act surprised after following the horrified gaze of onlookers to your bloody forearm. We’re told to leave scabs alone. To let them heal…but sometimes they itch! And sometimes it takes a long time for them to heal.

We’ve been scratching the surface of our deep wounds for several years now. But this time we knocked the scab off and we’re bleeding. It’s messy. If any good thing can be gleaned from this mess, it is that we finally see reality. More and more of us are waking up and stepping up to be counted. “Me too.” There is a new reality rumbling just under the surface. It might even be that utopian daydream I imagined. Or at least it could be. As for me, that’s what I’m hoping for and determined to make happen. Forgive me for not noticing before…but I think you are pretty spectacular and I think we can all do better and be better. If you’re not feeling it, just ask me. I’ll tell you. Better yet, let me show you.

Peace, love and light my loves…go gently.

Sunday’s Week in ReVerse – 14 January 2018

in the cellar…forgotten
crimson velvet frippery
those who are rooted deep
denying a dream
call it kismet; call it fate
but it was too late
always the day following a full moon
angels not devils
eternity of almost
deep is the water
it is time to dream
go gently my loves

~kat

A ReVerse poem is a summary poem with a single line lifted from each entry of a collection of work over a particular timeframe and re-penned in chronological order as a new poem. Unlike a collaborative poem, the ReVerse features the words of one writer, providing a glimpse into their thoughts over time. I use it as a review of the previous week.

4 Comments   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Digital Art & Photos, Essays, Poetry, Random Thoughts and Musings, Reverse Poem, Shi Sai, Week in Review

January 12, 2018

Silver-Tongued – Friday’s Word of the Day

By Kat Myrman

Today’s Word of the Day is silver-tongued. Oh dictionary.com you make this too easy! To be silver-tongued means to speak persuasively; eloquently: a silver-tongued orator.

It’s origin according to dictionary.com:

Silver-tongued may be named for the pleasing resonance of a silver bell. Even more pleasing and eloquent, therefore, would be chrysostom or chrysostomos “golden-mouthed,” from Greek chrysόstomos, from chrysόs “gold” and stόma “mouth.” As an epithet, chrysostom is reserved for the ancient Greek philosopher and historian Dio (or Dion) Chrysostom (c40–c115 a.d.), but in particular for the Greek patriarch and Church Father John Chrysostom (c347–407). On the first page of Ulysses, the unreliable, malevolent narrator refers to Buck Mulligan, who has gold fillings in his teeth and a very bawdy wit, as chrysostomos. Silver-tongued entered English in the late 16th century.

The art of eloquent speech is in short supply these days. We communicate in so many ways that are anything but silver-tongued. We have short attention spans that beg to be titillated by tweets, 60 second sound bites, text speak, ads that must grab our attention in the first three seconds, slang and abbreviated grunts!

But thankfully, beautiful words are not completely gone. In fact, when we hear a silver-tongued speech we rush to listen, inspired. ‘President Oprah’ had a very nice ring to it this week, even if only for a few days.

Notice, I did not refer to our current prez. He is what might be described as a silver-tongued devil (someone who, through flattery and slick speech, seeks to deceive others for their own gain.) Thanks to “45” we had a sad reality check this week. He reminded us why a majority of us didn’t vote for him, while reinforcing for the umpteenth time that he really is a racist, misogynistic, nationalist who is in the White House for his own self-aggrandizement. And all this while dragging us through the cesspool of his depraved mind adding another nasty word to our list of ‘not presidential’ diatribes, derogatory remarks and name-calling! Ugh! We are so fucked. (I considered toning that last word down but I am afraid another nicer word just won’t cut it…nope, fucked is the only way to say it…😳) Did I mention I didn’t vote for this guy? I didn’t vote for this guy.

But I digress, and I am sorry for that. Digressing is the last thing any of us should be doing. We need to hold fast to our love of beautiful words. We need to think them and write them and speak them. We need to speak to each other, face to face with the kindness and dignity due every human being.

I believe in the power of words. I believe in their beautiful ability to transform, uplift and affirm. And I’m rooting for the silver-tongued angels among us to win this war of words.

So I’ll close with a Lune, which is a short Haiku with the form 5/3/5. Sometimes brevity is the way to go!

let us strive to be
silver-tongued
angels not devils

~kat

7 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Essays, Haiku, Lune, Poetry, Random Thoughts and Musings, Word of the Day Haiku