loving…and little deaths

it’s occurred to me
that I have been dying
my entire life, little by little 
teardrop by teardrop
heart-stop by heart-stop
as every love cut short
nips a piece of me and
carries it like a souvenir 
over the rainbow to summer land,
to heaven, to Valhalla, leaving me
to stop the bleeding, to heal
to move on until the next assault 
of grief comes wielding a sickle 
slicing bits of me, it’s a crash course
in letting go, you know, 
preparing me, I suppose…
and when my time comes to shed
this beleaguered flesh
my soul will surely be bejeweled 
with pieces of you and you and you…
if I’ve loved you and you me,
I’m afraid it’s inevitable…so
I’m apologizing in advance, 
for contributing to your own
collection of tiny deaths, 
if I should be the first to leave…
forgive me
for snatching a bit of your light
to keep me in the dark unknown
imagine me in the mist 
beyond the veil, bedazzled
with pieces of you and you and you
on some starry starry night
we’ll dance around the moon

~kat