Mr. Better Than Sex…Cake

Mr. Better Than Sex…Cake

The seduction begins with
an orgy of chocolate cake mix,
devil’s food, because, well…
given his titular title he has
a reputation to defend.
Add a ménage a trois of eggs,
and wetness, water, if you will,
and a fair amount of lubricant,
cooking oil, to the connoisseur,
to meld the mix into a smooth batter.

He prefers a preheated oven to do
his rising, filling the entire room
with the aroma of his decadence,
foreplay to what comes next after
about thirty minutes or so.

While still warm from the oven,
with a wooden skewer, or fork,
poke holes in the cake, reservoirs
to be filled with a slathering
of sweetened condensed milk…

“Oh, but I’m not finished with you yet!”
he teases playfully, inviting me
add a smooth layer of caramel sauce
and another of sweet whipped cream,
with a sprinkling of crushed chocolate
toffee candy…”yes please! chocolate on
chocolate…oooh, yes, yes! Please don’t
stop…here, and there, and oh…there…”

a drizzling of caramel syrup brings
this all to a climactic finish!

“Ooh la la, Mr. Better Than Sex Cake,
I am breathless, you’ve outdone yourself!

My tender tastebuds are tingling!
I think I need…a tall glass of milk!”

A Note to the Avid Gourmet:
There are a few variations to this
recipe that include ingredients
such as vanilla cake mix and
pineapple…but in my humble
opinion, vanilla is well, vanilla
and pineapple is too sweet. I like
my cake dark, decadent, slightly
bitter, and smooth to the tongue.


NaPoWriMo 2023 Challenge Day Twenty-Nine: write your own two-part poem that focuses on a food or type of meal. At some point in the poem, describe the food or meal as if it were a specific kind of person. Give the food/meal at least one line of spoken dialogue.

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