I have spent the better part of this week frolicking with that great pretender, Fiction. Six Word Stories, Haiku poetry, 100 Word Stories. It’s been a holiday of sorts. An opportunity to hone my writing skills…I kept telling myself. But honestly, it has been more of an escape than a detour of fancy. The world can be overwhelming sometimes. I feel everything. Your stuff…my stuff…the stuff of strangers. I am usually quite adept at regaining my center. Focusing on the moment. Breathing. Releasing.

But I have found myself distracted recently. There are a few triggers that have sent me spinning. One has to do with religious freedom and all the blah, blah, blah that has erupted. This whole brouhaha, inflated by profiteering politicians, mega-ministries and their wide-eyed, uniformed followers, is a scam. The state of our religious freedom in this country remains as intact as it ever was. You are free to pray, to worship and to practice your brand of religion. Please don’t think though, that that freedom gives you the right to impose your belief on others. It doesn’t. Just because you can’t ram your god down our throats doesn’t mean your freedom is under attack. Stop acting like selfish jerks. There I said it! It doesn’t feel particularly satisfying to say it. But it is the truth. Sometimes the truth is not pretty.

What really has me reeling is this ugly confederate flag thing. Not the obnoxious over the top bubba’s parading down the highway with huge flags flapping from the beds of their pickup trucks. I can easily dismiss their raucous behavior. It is ignorant, offensive and immature, but as a person who appreciates the rights and freedoms promised us in this great nation of ours, I support their right to wave whatever banner they wish from the confines of their own personal space and property. The public square should be off limits, though. Regardless of the reasoning for your personal allegiance to this flag, it is a historical fact that its creators were motivated by prejudice, white privilege and treason. Yes, it has its place in history. That’s where it belongs…the tattered emblem of an ill-fated band of rebels who lost the battle.

Sadly it has been resurrected again and again as the rumblings of secession has risen from the ashes. When justice prevailed in the late ’50’s and segregation in our communities and our schools was banned, southern states responded by closing schools and opening underground “white” schools bearing the names of their confederate heroes. They raised rebel flags right next to old glory, establishing a tainted legacy for future generations of students. It has reared its ugliness again recently in the wake of the surge of a new generation of rebels. Why do I even care? Why does anyone care?

I care because recently someone I know on social media, changed her profile picture to that flag. I want to tell her how offensive I find it. I want to tell her that just because she has a right to use it as her profile photo, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. I want to ask her if she personally knows anyone of color and if she does, I want to ask her if they have told her how that flag makes them feel. Or maybe they’re like me. Choosing silence instead of opening up this nasty can of worms, wincing in disgust each time she posts a comment or a bible verse or a cute cat video because her picture is there…right there. Well not her picture exactly, but the photo she has chosen to represent who she is to the world. Most of all I simply want to ask her why.

I don’t ask. I already know the answer. She’s said as much in her own rants on the topic. It’s the banner of her beloved school. It’s her right to display it wherever she chooses. No one can take her flag away. It’s part of her history. And now everyone knows.

I’d have to agree. Yes, she has the right. Yes, it is her history. But she must know that it is offensive. And that is a problem for me….knowing that she can consciously choose to offend others, even if they are faceless strangers. I keep hoping she’ll get this out of her system and return her smiling face to its rightful place in her profile. But I am losing hope. And grieving.

If there is any redeeming lesson to be taken from this, it is that I have become more aware of the banners that I may be guilty of hoisting high for all to see. It has caused me to consider the silent affect that my attitude and actions may have on others. Like this rant. It’s not my best moment. Yep, sometimes the truth is not pretty. hmmmmmm.

I know I need to find my way back to center. To the magnificence of each precious moment that provides me with all I need to know about being present in this life. My highest calling is not found somewhere outside of myself and therefore has little to do with the chaos swirling all around me. It is found deep in my heart.

And my friend? The why isn’t as important to me as it was when this rant began. Sometimes I need to get the words out of my head in plain sight before I can get back on track. If you are still reading, thank you for your patience…and grace.

Part of embracing my heart’s truth means surrendering to love. Love that is patient, kind and does not take offense. I have a long way to go before I consistently get it right. We all do. And I have hope for her and me and all of us. Love never fails.

Kat ~ September 2015 (rant over…breathe in…and…)

Update…next morning 6:35 am…

Right on cue…the morning after this ugly rant of mine, this was waiting for me in my news feed,,,

 I just love how the universe sends me little affirming messages, and when needed, a swift kick in the rear. And I am grateful this morning….and for this moment. 😊